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TheOneAfter"IDo"Writtenby:DavidCrane&MartaKauffmanTranscribedby:HYPERLINK"mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com"EricAasen[Scene:TheWeddingHall,MonicaandChandlerhavejustsaid"Ido,"andthephotographeristakingtherequiredpictures.FirstofMonica,Chandler,RossandJoey.]Photographer:Great.(Takesapicture.)Great!Justgivemeasectochangefilm.Monica:Okay.Ross:(ToMonica)Okay,IknowI’mnotsupposedtoknow,butIdo.AndI’msoexcitedforyou!Joey:What?What’sgoingon?Ross:Monica’spregnant!Joey:OhmyGod!Isthatwhyyouguyshadtogetmarried?!Monica:Guys!I’mnotpregnant.Joey:Ah.(ToChandler)Slowswimmers?(Chandlerlooksathim.)Ross:What?!Whatdoyoumean?You-you-you’renotpregnant?Monica:Youdidn’ttellanybodyIwasdidyou?!Ross:No!(Pause)I’llberightback.(Exits.)Photographer:Nowwhydon’twegetashotofjustMonicaandthebloodysoldier.Monica:(ToJoey)Oh,aboutthat.Joey,youhavetochangebeforetheparty.Joey:Ican’t!I-Idon’thaveanyotherclotheshere.Monica:Findsome!Please!Anythingthatdoesn’tsayI-IdiedtragicallyinFrance.(Joeyleavestofindclothes.)Photographer:Wellthenwhydon’tweseethebrideandthegroomandthebridemaids.Phoebe:Okay.(PhoebeandRacheljoinMonicaandChandleronthealtar.)HeyMon,whydidyoutelltheguysyouweren’tpregnant?Monica:BecauseI’mnot.Phoebe:Wefoundyourtestinthetrash,ifyou’renotpregnant—(SheseesRachelshakingherhead)—It’sbecauseIam.(Flash,thephotographertakesapictureofMonicaandChandler’sstunnedfaces.)Chandler:What?!Whatareyoutalkingabout?Monica:Whatareyoutalkingabout?Phoebe:Yes,I…Iamwithchild.(Flash)AndIdidn’twanttosayanythingbecauseit’syourday;Ididn’twanttostealyourthunder.Monica:Waitaminute!SoyoutoldpeopleIwaspregnant?!(Flash)DoesthislooklikeaconversationthatIwanttoremember?!Chandler:Who’sthefather?Monica:Yeah!Phoebe:Ican’tsay.Monica:Why?!Chandler:Whynot?Phoebe:Ican’tsaybecausehe’sfamous.Rachel:OhmyGod,whoisit?!(Phoeberollshereyes.)Monica:Phoebe,comeon,youhavetotellus.Phoebe:Okay,okay.It’sJamesBrolin.JamesBrolinisthefatherofmybaby.Chandler:AsinBarbaraStreisand’shusbandJamesBrolin?Phoebe:What?!Wellhenever
