英语语法的笑话律师、宝马和胳膊一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。“你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”AlawyeropenedthedoorofhisBMW,whensuddenlyacarcamealongandhitthedoor,rippingitoffcompletely.Whenthepolicearrivedatthescene,thelawyerwascomplainingbitterlyaboutthedamagetohispreciousBMW."Officer,lookwhatthey'vedonetomyBeeeemer!!!",hewhined."Youlawyersaresomaterialistic,youmakemesick!!!"retortedtheofficer,"You'resoworriedaboutyourstupidBMW,thatyoudidn'tevennoticethatyourleftarmwasrippedoff!!!"狗住旅店一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。Amanwrotealettertoasmallhotelheplannedtovisitonhisvacation:"Iwouldverymuchliketobringmydogwithme.Heiswell-groomedandverywellbehaved.Wouldyoubewillingtopermitmetokeephiminmyroomwithmeatnight?"Animmediatereplycamefromthehotelowner,whosaid,"I'vebeenoperatingthishotelformanyyears.Inallthattime,I'veneverhadadogstealtowels,bedclothes,silverwareorpicturesoffthewalls.I'veneverhadtoevictadoginthemiddleofthenightforbeingdrunkanddisorderly.AndI'veneverhadadogrunoutonahotelbill.Yes,indeed,yourdogiswelcomeatmyhotel.And,ifyourdogwillvouchforyou,you'rewelcometostayhere,too."顾客和服务员之间的对话顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了!服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫!Diner:Watchout!Yourthumbsinmysoup!Waiter:Don'tworry,Sir,it'snotthathot!一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。“你疯了吗?”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上!”“什么?”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上?”Awaiterbringsthecustomerthesteakheorderedwithhisthumboverthemeat."Areyoucrazy?"yelledthecustomer,"withyourhandonmysteak?""What"answersthewaiter,"Youwantittofallontheflooragain?"服务员：茶或咖啡?先生。第一个顾客：我要茶第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的!服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子?Waiter:"Teaorcoffee,gentlemen?"1stcustomer:"I'llhavetea."2ndcustomer:"Me,too-andbesuretheglassisclean!"(Waiterexits,returns)Waiter:"Twoteas.Whichoneaskedforthecleanglass?"创新句子：我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么?看起来象是在仰泳，先生……Waiter,what'sthisflydoinginmysoup?Um,lookstometobeback