Mostofushaveatleastonefriendweconsidertoxic:theloserfriendwhodisruptsourentireworldthesecondtheystepintoit.Weknowthingswouldbesomucheasierifwecutthemloose,yetwespendmoretimefiguringoutwhywestaythanitwouldtaketoactuallyleave.大多数人都至少有一个浑身散发负能量的“有毒”的朋友：只要他们前脚踏足，我们的世界马上变得乱七八糟。我们都知道远离这样的朋友，事情会变得更加简单，其实我们已经花了太多时间去思考为什么还要留在这样的朋友身边。WhyYouHaveLoserFriends为什么你有负能量的朋友Thetruthis,ithappensforamultitudeofreasons:实际上，有很多原因：You’vebeenfriendswiththemsinceyouwerekids.你们是发小。Youknowthemsowellyou’reconstantlyjustifyingtheirbehavior.太了解他们了，所以经常评判他们的行为。Youfeelguiltybecausetheydon’thaveanyoneelsetoturnto.他们没有其他可以求助的对象，所以你会有负罪感。Youfeelobligatedtospendtimewiththembecausethey’reamutualfriendofyourBFF/spouse/familymember.他们也是你男朋友/配偶/家庭成员，所以你觉得有责任要陪着他们。You’reafraidofhowthey’llreactifyouconfrontthem(a.k.a.moredrama).如果你跟他们正面遭遇，你很怕他们会有的反应（会更戏剧化）。Youfeelit’seasiertodealwiththemthandisruptyourlifestyleanyfurther.与其破坏现有的生活方式，还不如和他们继续相处下去。Usuallythough,it’sasimplecaseofoutgrowingeachother.Whatcausedyouto“click”initiallyasfriendsnolongerapplies,oryourlivesaregoingincompletelydifferentdirections.通常情况下，这只是简单的两个人不搭的问题而已。当初让你觉得是朋友的冲动不复存在，或者是你俩的生活方向截然不同。WhatConstitutesaLoserFriend?到底负能量朋友的标志是什么？WhenIusetheterm“loserfriend,”Idon’tmeantheythemselvesarelosers—everyoneisentitledtolivetheirlifeexactlyhowtheywantto—butwhatthey’redoingtoyourlifeiscausingyoutolosewhatyouwant…andyou’relettingithappen.我用的短语是“负能量朋友”，我的意思并不是他们本身就是负能量的，毕竟每个人都有权利去照着自己的想法来生活，但如果他们给你生活造成的影响使你失去了你想要的东西，你就需要注意了。Ifyouhavefriendswhodoanyofthefollowing,youneedtoseriouslyconsidertheirplaceinyourlife:如果你有朋友干以下这些事情，你需要认真的考虑考虑他们在你生活中的地位了。They’renotsupportive.他们帮不上忙。They’renottherewhenyouneedthem.你需要他们的时候总是不在。They’reonlytherewhentheyneedyou.只有在需要你的时候他们才会出现。Theymakeyoufeeldrained.他们让你觉得累。Theyhavenoambition.他们没有野心。Theyconstantlyinfuriateyou.他们经常激怒你。Theyexpectyoutodropeverythingwhentheywanttodosomething.当他们想干什么的时候，他们希望你能抛下一切。Theythinkeverythingisanurgentcrisis.他们觉得每件事都是急事。Takeitfromsomeonewhowatchedherownlifeimplode:ifyouwanttob