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英文简历中不该出现的话发布者:zsl作者:加入日期：06-02-19--致命的大错："Finished8thinmyhighschoolgraduatingclassof10.""Qualifications:Noeducationorexperience.""Iamrelativelyintelligent,obedientandloyalasapuppy.""Mycompensationshouldbeatleastequaltomyage.""ReasonforLeaving:IthadtodowiththeIRS,FBIandSEC.""FiredbecauseIfoughtforlowerpay.""Sizeofemployer:Verytall,probablyover6"5".""Pleasedisregardtheenclosedresume-itisterriblyoutofdate.""ReasonforLeaving:Mybosssaidtheendoftheworldisnear.""ReasonforLeaving:Theownergavenewmeaningtotheword"paranoia."Iprefertoelaborateprivately."打字错误与语法错误"Herearemyqualificationsforyoutooverlook.""Strengths:Abilitytomeetdeadlineswhilemaintainingcomposer.""Iamarabidtypist.""WorkHistory:Performedbrainwavetests,1879-1981.""Afterreceivingadvicefromseveraldifferentangels,Ihavedecidedtopursueanewlineofwork.""Accountingcleric.""Asindicted,Ihaveoverfiveyearsofexperienceanalyzinginvestments.""Suspectedtograduateearlynextyear.""Disposedof$2.5billioninassets.""Provenabilitytotrackdownandcorrecterors.""Accomplishments:Oversightofentiredepartment.""Amaperfectionistandrarelyififeverforgetdetails.""Accomplishments:Completed11yearsofhighschool."不应有的幽默"Note:Keepthisresumeontopofthestack.Useallotherstoheatyourhouse.""Assistedindailypreparationoflargequantitiesofconsumableitemsinafast-pacedsetting."(Translation:Short-ordercook.)"Butwait...there"smore.Yougetallthisbusinessknowledgeplusagraspofmarketingthatissecondnature.""Ihaveanexcellenttrackrecord,althoughIamnotahorse.""Myfortunecookiesaid,"Yournextinterviewwillresultinajob"-andIlikeyourcompanyinparticular.""Title:Anotherresumefromthe"ProfilesinExcellence"series.""AlsoKnownAs:Mr.Productivity,Mr.Clever,Mr.Fix-it.""Trustworthyreferencesavailableuponrequest-ifIgivethemafewbucks.""Let"smeetsoyoucan"ooh"and"ahh"overmyexperience."
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