PAGEfifthUNIT1Iamfrequentlyaskedthequestion,”Canyouusechopsticks”IhavelivedinKorea,JapanandChina.Ineachcountry,Ihave,moreoftenthannotandwithouthavingrequestedone,beengivenaforkwhenonewasavailable.IhavepolitelyrefusedandsaidthatIwouldbefinewithchopsticks.Sometime,Ihavetomakefurtherexplanation.ChopsticksaretheleastofmyworrieswhenIameatinginanAsianhomeorrestaurant.Infact,learninghowtousechopstickstakesmenothingbutafewweeks.ThisisnottosayIwasskillful,though.Learninghowtousechopsticksiseasyforme,whereaslearningtheritualsandhowtoconductmyselfatthetableisquitedifficult.JusthowmanytimesdoIhavetosay”no,thankyou”whenIreallymean”no,thankyou,Itrulyamfull”?HowdoIgetawaywithrefusingmorefoodwithoutoffendingsomeone?IfIinsistandIstillgetmore,isitappropriatejustnottoeatit?ThiswouldbeimpolitewhereIcomefrom.Ihaveenjoyedmanygreatmealsandmyinteractionswiththepeoplehavebeengreat.IamincreasinglyawarethatIwillneverbeabletogivebackasmuchasIhavereceived.Idon’tknowhowIcaneverthankallofthepeoplewhointroducedmetoeatinginAsia.UNIT3Ididn’tmarryforallthe”rightreasons”.Lovehadnothingtodowithmarriage.And,formyhusband’spart,well,Isuspectlovewasonhismindeither.HemarriedmebecauseImadehimfeelyoung.Hewassuchanordinarymangoingaroundhisveryordinarymidlifecrisis.Hewasdivorced,lookingforyoungerwomenandacareerchange.Thatdidn’tbotherme,though.Hewasstillfairlycharming,prettyhandsomeandaboveallrich.Imarriedformoney,andIdon’thaveanydoubtaboutit.Myfriendsdon’tapplaudmydecision,butIcanalsotellthattheywish,atleastalittlebit,forsomeofthesamethingsthatInowenjoy.Theyalwaysprefertospeedalotoftimebymyswimmingpoolthanattheircommonlittlehomes.Andanotherthing,theyarealwayscomplainingabouttheir”beloved”.”He’salwayswatchinghowmuchIspend.””It’sbecomemorelikeabusinessrelationshipthanamarriage.’Myhusband,however,doesn’tcarehowmuchIspendandourmarriageneverbecomeabusinessbecauseitalreadywasone.Youcouldsay,wehaveamutualunderstanding.Weareveryrealisticaboutthewholething.Itispainfulformyfriendswhentheyrealizethatloveisjusta