搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪叶孤城花满楼king路人上官雪儿旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：Aquietvillageiscoveredwithwhitesnow.Birdsaredancinginthecold.Amaniswalkingalongthestreet,stepbystep.Windiscominginsilence.Anothermysteriousmanapproaches.Y与X相遇．X：oH,Iamsorrytoknockyou!Y:,Nevermindbaby.X:Excuseme，whoareyouonearth?Couldyoutellmeyourname?Y:,Iwon’tchangemyname!nomatterwhathappens.I’mthemostfamous——-YeGucheng.Whoareyou?X:Iamximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar,ximenchuixue?thebestMartialArts?X:Great,youknowme!Todayisyourdeaddate!Y抱腿：Please,please……Don’tkillme!Letmego!X:No,Imustkillyou!Y:Idon’twanttobekilled.Thereareaeighty-year-oldmotherandathree-yearoldsontobelookedafterbyme!X:Noway!Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’tforceme!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk,verygood!Ilikedrinkingit.Howdoyouknowthat?Y:pleasedrinkit!X喝完牛奶:Thanks,Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?X:Sure,must!Milkismilk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood!verygood!Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?X:I’msureIwon’t!Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon’tbeatyouthistime,you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1!X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach!Y大笑：HaHa……themilkisexceedthetimelimit（一人路过，x起身跑过去）X可怜状:excuseme!Help,help,Whereisthewashroom?please,tellme.Y:Oh,Isee,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!X:Thanks,byebye.Y:byebye(以胜利者的语气，转头,看见花满楼)Y:Whoareyou?H:Hua—man—-lou!Haveyouseenximenchuixue?Y:Yes,hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC”.H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!Y:Youareright!H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor!doyouwantjoininus?Ifyoufollowmyking,hewillgivewhatyouwant.Y:Yes,It’sverygood.H:Ok,followme,Let’sgotoseemyking!第二幕：无间道H:Mydearest!letmeintroduceyeguchengtoyou!（指Y）thisisyegucheng.K:sitdownplese,yegucheng.Y:excuseme,Ihaveaquestion.willyougivemewhatIwantjustifIfollowyou?King:yes,Iwill.Y:That’sgood.CanyougivemeaMM?K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme!Hahaha……Y:ofcourse.美女出场M:hello，帅锅..K:thisisshanggu