EFFECTIVE SENTENCES---CONCISENESS.ppt
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EFFECTIVE SENTENCES---CONCISENESS.ppt

EFFECTIVESENTENCES---CONCISENESS.ppt

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EffectiveSentencesNote:deletethewordswithoutwhichthemeaningexpressedisnotaffected.Wordy:Itwasblueincolor.Concise:Itwasblue.Wordy:Itwassmallinsize.Concise:Itwassmall.Wordy:HereturnedintheearlypartofthemonthofAugust.Concise:HereturnedinearlyAugust.Note:avoidunnecessaryrepetitionWordy:Hegavemanyreasonsforthefailure,butthereasonshegavewerenotconvincing.Concise:Hegavemanyreasonsforthefailure,butnoneofthemwasconvincing.Wordy:Inmyopinion,Ithinkyourplanisfeasible.Concise:Inmyopinion,yourplanisfeasible.Or:Ithinkyourplanisfeasible.Wordy:Thismachinewasjointlydesignedbytheoldengineerincollaborationwithsomeofhisyoungercolleagues.Concise:Thismachinewasjointlydesignedbytheoldengineerandsomeofhisyoungercolleagues.Or:Thismachinewasdesignedbytheoldengineerincollaborationwithsomeofhisyoungercolleagues.Note:Concisenesscansometimesbeachievedbychangingthesentencestructure.Aclausecanbereplacedbyaphraseandaphrasebyawordwithoutanychangeinthemeaning.Twosentencesmaybecombinedwiththeideaofthelessimportantoneexpressedinaparticipialphrases,andattributiveclause,orsomeotherform.MoreexercisesWordy:Thecauseofthefloodwasduetotheheavyraininlatespring.Concise:Thecauseofthefloodwastheheavyraininlatespring.Wordy:Thereareanumberofstudentswhowanttojointhedramaclub.Concise:Anumberofstudentswanttojointhedramaclub.Wordy:Zhaowasthepersonwhowaselectedtherepresentativeoftheclassbythewholeclass.Concise:Zhaowaselectedtherepresentativeoftheclass.Wordy:Theplanecircledaroundtheairportforabouttenminutesorsoandthendisappearedandcouldnolongerbeseen.Concise:Theplanecircledaroundtheairportforabouttenminutesandthendisappeared.谢谢!